I was just reminded by those “on this day” notifications from Facebook that a year ago~ish I shared this quote with a very special message which I will share with you guys at the end of this post. And I am feeling some kind of destined because I was just thinking about my education as I was walking from my car to class the other night. Now let me share some more details about what is going on in ma’mind and we will take it from there, shall we?
I took a moment to briefly share a few days ago that I have a new position and a new work schedule. Don’t get me wrong, the early bird shift is my absolute favorite! I am not saying I am the kind of person who arrives to work at 7am like this
but I do fine because the earlier you start work the earlier you finish. Boom, sold! And as you know the purpose of this blog is to share my fitness journey, you know the one moving at a sloth’s pace, so I try my best to move forward into a healthier me. I have to wake up quite early to get a workout, get ready for work, and be out the door to beat the traffic. And I have been pretty consistent with my early morning workouts too so that means waking up hella early… yiaiks!
And just like any other working mom out there, I have a gazillion things to do. You have to do things for your family, work, try do add some “me” time in there and some “us” time here and there too. In top of that, I continue to take classes. Why? Because the power of learning is important to me. I know that knowledge comes with power. The power to make informed decisions, the power to foresee consequences, the power to have your own opinion. That’s why I continue to further my education because I truly believe it makes me a better informed person.
Now, study time added to my regular obligations can turn an itty bitty tiny too much at times. So this past Tuesday night, I could feel my eyes closing while I was driving to school. I was so tired. A type of tiredness that I haven’t felt before. The kind that made my eyes so heavy, the kind that made my legs tremble as I was going up the stairs on campus, the kind that made me want to take a nap before driving back home. Not sure that I have ever felt this tired; I consider myself an energized person. For a second as all of these were taking a toll on me, I doubted myself right there at that moment. Why am I doing this to myself? I have a good job at a good company, isn’t this enough? Why can’t I just be happy where I am and stop trying to make things better? Am I a perfectionist in denial? What gives?… I… am… tired!
Now, let me also add here that I strongly believe and support acceptance. And this also means accepting those negative feelings/ emotions that come at times. And while accepting them is fine and necessary, it sure does not mean dwelling in negativity. It simply means recognizing the feeling/ emotion and trying to understand what is causing it so I can make changes accordingly. Why am I feeling this way? I have always been so inspired about my education, why do I want to stop now? It was quite simple after some thought… I am physically tired! Hey, I know I often get mistaken with Wonder Woman but I am only human and my body does get tired. It happens!
I am fully aware of what I have. I am the type of person who counts her blessings every day because I am religious and it’s just how I am. I am thankful for what I have. And I am not saying that I am being greedy or too ambitious, but it is okay to want more for yourself. More of the things that make you a better person. I know the things that make me a better person. I want more of that. Sure I am a bit tired these past days, but I need to learn to modify. Right away I came with a plan. Quitting school is not a choice for me. It simply isn’t. But I can modify. I can take less classes next semester; I mean I am not in a competition to the finish line. I want to enjoy the road too! So I will continue to do that and I will continue to learn as much as I can each day: