Isn’t this picture pretty? This was one of the many pictures that popped on my browser when I googled (yup, that’s a verb these days) “romantic”. It is such a beautiful picture! The sunset, the beach, the company, the tree… or is it? Well, I got the idea to write about my definition of what romantic is because when my husband and I were talking about it just recently, I realized romantic means different things to different people.
Again, I think this picture is lovely. Would I like to be the one in that picture with my husband? Absolutely, that would be nice. Would it be romantic? Sure. Would it be comfortable? I think not! I am sure that palm tree is strong but would it be able to hold my husband and I safely? I don’t know. Sure I am working on my fitness but even if I was several pounds lighter, I am not sure I would be comfortable sitting there for a long period of time. Should we then put a limit to the time we will be sitting there to make sure is romantic? No, romanticism shouldn’t be timed. That is why when I think of romantic the picture in my head is a lot different than what Google found for me.
Red roses, candlelight, champagne or wine if you are into that, strawberries, fireplace, poems, romantic music.. I am sure you get the idea. You name these things and most people would say: “ah, romantic!” And while that is true, that is not the kind of romanticism that I am talking about. While all of these gestures can sure make any moment special, I want to focus on the romanticism that should live in a marriage day after day. These romantic gestures will create a deeper connection between a couple because I believe the quote below describes marriage fairly well:
So what’s the point Kim? Roses, champagne and all of the before mentioned things can definitely make any moment extra especial but that is not all there is to romanticism, at least not the kind I think needs to be present all the time. When I think of being romantic, I have this picture of the two of us sharing a moment that makes me fall in love with him all over again. This place doesn’t have to be a secret spot in the Hawaiian islands, or at the top of the mountain, or at the most expensive restaurant in the city. It doesn’t require roses or a glass with bubbly. It doesn’t require to wear fancy gowns or a limo to pick us up. So what to do you want Kim? I have been married for almost nine years now and while not every day is perfect I know we have a strong marriage. So when I talk about romanticism in the marriage, roses and cute details are ALWAYS welcomed 😉 but these are some of the things that I prefer over tulips (my fave flowers):
- A long, deep hug. What do I mean by that? A tight hug that wakes up the butterflies in ma belly and that is not rushed or interrupted. Especially for us with three kids, we are always making sure the kids are taken care of. I swear the moment I stop to hug my husband I suddenly feel little arms around my legs because almost every hug ends in a group hug, ha! Don’t get me wrong that is an amazing thing too, but I love when we can find just even one minute to hug each other and have the time to enjoy each other’s smell, share sweet words, and feel goosebumps because hello love!.
- Cuddling. Now this might sound super obvious and possible but I am telling you, the moment my husband and I decide to cuddle while watching a moving, then is group cuddle! Is like the kids know is happening and they suddenly show up in our room if they were not there and if they were there from the get-go, they jump in to cuddle. Those are really sweet family moments, but as a couple is important to make time for the two of us.
- Holding hands. Three kids, two parents. You do the math! Because the little one is still a baby one is holding the baby or pushing the stroller and the other one is holding onto the other two kiddos. Whenever we go out and it is just the two of us, I enjoy oh so very much when he holds my hand. It makes me feel safe, and I think that is romantic.
- Compliments. When is our anniversary, or a birthday, or we are celebrating a holiday like mother’s or father’s day, is so easy to write down a list of things the other one does amazingly. But I love when compliments happen organically. We are doing a great job most of the time (we aren’t perfect parents so I won’t lie and say it is ALL the time). Taking the time to pull your significant other aside and remind him or her how amazing he or she is at being your partner, best friend and your everything it’s a great way to keep the relationship strong.
- Now the next ones I think they speak for themselves:
- Tucking my hair behind my ear and whispering some sweet words.
- Love message, which these days is pretty much by text, can light up my day and warm up my heart.
- Doing chores without me asking for it. Thanks babe!
- Bringing home my favorite sweet treat because it’s my favorite.
- Weekday lunch date. With our work schedules is not always possible to coordinate but I love when we can meet somewhere and enjoy lunch just the two of us.
- Watch her movie/ his show. We have very different tastes when it comes to TV. I like romantic comedies, and he is into zombies and whatever GOT is. It is a nice touch when he compromises watching a movie I like or I compromise watching a show he likes. It shows you care and yes, it is romantic in my book because I have limited TV time (busy mom here).
- And don’t forget about a sweet kiss! Sure French was nice when I was fourteen, but this mama wants a soft, tender kiss that makes my body tingle because of so much love! You know it 😉
If you pay attention, almost all the things in my list do not require money or fancy gifts. It is about the gestures. The sweet gestures. Love can’t be all about sex. It needs the connection. The chemistry. I fall in love with him again every single day. These romantic gestures are simple but especial. They make our relationship stronger. I will always love when he shows up with a bouquet of tulips after work, but I will do fine without them as long as we can continue to fall in love with each other every day because of who we are and the things we do for each other. The simple things do count.